My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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