Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
