No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
