She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
