hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
