remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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