I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
