Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
