I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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