State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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