I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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