he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
