real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
