i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
