my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
