He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
