i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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