No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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