My Higher Power is John Stamos
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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