Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
