the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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