She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
