what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize