So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
