Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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