if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize