Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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