I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
