i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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