these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Still dying that you shit outside
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize