I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am spending my child support on dildos
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
