sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This is classic penis vs brain.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
