it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
