i think i have herpe
just one?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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