I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
