Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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