were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
