she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize