just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
