what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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