I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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