I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
