I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
