y did u give ur computer a hand job?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
In America we eat man semen.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
