I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
