I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
