She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
