In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
