so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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