I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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